Tagged: Kaijune

The first kaiju to converge at the San Diego Pit were the Lumberer and the Burned Man. The Carrion Choir followed in the Lumberer’s sloughy wake. As the kaiju’s forms filled the horizon, the Lumberer dwarfing the Burned...

The graduate student organizing committee has been doubling down on their efforts to confront the Board and force them to allow a union vote. The students have been showing up at stockholder events, securing meetings with city council...

After defeating the Financial Snake, [REACTED] proceeded, as all the kaiju seem to be doing, in a southwesterly direction. Once they moved beyond the confines of the city and the suburbs and all the urban density, they took...

We’ve finally had an escalation between the military and kaiju. Up to this point, DoD has regarded kaiju as sources of potential weapons development or asymmetrical assaults by foreign powers. Evacuation has largely been relegated to local municipalities...

Subject: The Financial Snake Description: A 300-foot long snake occupying the Financial District of New York City Analysis: Subject was initially tracked moving through the ocean before disappearing into the extensive underground of NYC. It finally emerged in...

Subject: The Silhouette Description: A void of indeterminate shape that erases things it comes into contact with at night. Analysis: Subject is the liberalization of an absence, the blind spot in your vision at night made manifest and...

Subject: Carrion Choir Description: The previously described Carrion Crawlers have taken to pausing and singing a single sustained note every day at 6:43 PM EST. Analysis: One of the first escalations of the kaiju phenomenon to rise to...

Subject: Carrion Crawlers Description: Corpses left in the wake of the Lumberer have risen from the muck and begun recombining as ambulatory mases of sinew Analysis: Recovery and clean-up following kaiju incursions have been understandably slow. Not only...

Subject: Boston Mastodon Description: A 50-foot tall woolly mammoth cloned from fossilized DNA Analysis: They tampered with God’s Rogaine and made a hairy elephant. Efforts at MIT to clone a woolly mammoth from fossilized DNA proved successful, much...

And now aliens. Aliens have made contact and landed in, of all places, Riverside, IA, the future birthplace of Captain Kirk. We don’t know if that was intentional or a coincidence because no one has the patience for...

Subject: The San Diego Pit Description: A fiery pit that has opened 25 miles WSW of Sand Diego. It is of unknown depth, the source of the flames cannot be identified, and mephitic creatures periodically emerge to attack...

The North Hills Corvid Collective has left Pittsburgh. On June 19th,the Collective gathered in the air and started a southwesterly migration. This cannot be weather related as it’s the beginning of summer and the birds wouldn’t head south...

Subject: Poughkeepsie Praying Mantis Description: A 50-foot tall praying mantis Analysis: What it says on the tin. A giant praying mantis descended on Poughkeepsie and started attacking the city. It stomped on cars, broke buildings with its pinchers,...

Incursion by Metatron over Mount Saint Helen’s. One of the larger sects of the Volcano Cult was gathered there preparing a sacrifice. All members were consumed by Metatron as was much of the top of the volcano. Response...

Subject: East China Sea Crab Description: A 50-foot hermit crab using the discarded hull of a sunken battleship as its shell Analysis: It is believed that subject is the crab that abandoned the shell currently labeled “Busan Crab...

A hurricane hit the University this week. In my youth, I’d be shocked by that: a hurricane in Philadelphia? Now we get two or three a year. This was a particularly bad one, knocking out power for several...

Subject: The Lumberer Description: A 100-foot-tall mound proceeding at a slow but determined pace WSW across the United States. Does not slow, does not veer from its path, flattens everything before it with its mass. Analysis: Subject is...

Subject: The Skin Description: At rest, a 20-foot long ribbed and fleshy egg. The egg unfurls to be a 50-foot tall insectoid creature whose body is primarily a thin membrane stretched between four fang-like protrusions Analysis: The Skin,...

Subject: Busan Crab Shell Description: A 50-foot tall hermit crab shell found on Seongdo Beach. No sign of the creature that inhabited it or deposited it on the shore Analysis: The Busan Crab Shell is interesting in that...

Subject: Volcano Cults Description: A roving group of white people visiting random volcanoes and sacrificing their members in the hopes of awakening a volcano kaiju Analysis: To just say “white people” and move on would not meet the...